My crush is in a long term relationship

I’m in a relationship but I have a crush on someone else, what should I do? | Relate

my crush is in a long term relationship

There's a big difference between an innocent crush and emotional infidelity. committed relationship and have a crush on another person at the same time. but the relationship is no longer in that swooning honeymoon phase.” “A mentor once told me, 'You know you're a good fit when your partner is. Til;dr: My boyfriend and I have only been with each other, wondering if .. especially if you're the type that's into long term committed relationships. having an intense crush, makes someone much more beautiful in my eyes. Even with a long term, live-in significant other, I crush on anyone who A crush may be how I got into my relationship, but having another one.

Luckily, he loves this quirk about me. Max is shy, more reserved, and has a very stable, steady personality. Despite my frequent crushes, my feelings for Max have never wavered. But I will admit that over the course of our five years, some of those fun, flirty little crushes have morphed into something bigger, something worth worrying about.

I once went so far as to fantasize about a male friend — to the point where I got goosebumps every time I thought about us getting naked together. These crushes felt very different than my casual crushes on say, the cable guy. It was in these moments that I wished Max did get crushes.

If he had ever so much as glanced at another woman, I might have felt less like a villain fantasizing about joining the Mile-High club.

When Having A Crush While In A Relationship Is OK (And When It's Not) | HuffPost Life

It would have balanced things out a bit. It will still keep you up at night and convince you to touch up your lip gloss more often, just in case. The worst of these crushes was one I got a few years ago on a guy I met in a writing class I took. He was the brooding sort who drove a motorcycle. Below, with her writing partner Melissa LowensteinFreed explores the meaning of an adult crush, and what to do the next time one strikes.

Eros stretches his cherubic little bow, and, seemingly out of nowhere, someone becomes the object of our fascination—sometimes, to an unreasonable, insatiable degree. You may have violated your values to pursue your crush, or given more of yourself than is healthy to them because you were desperate to be in their company.

They are a forceful combination of the unconscious wishes and desires we have neglected and our desperation to be fully known and expressed. The upside of intense crushes is that they can be a creatively compelling source of growth and self-understanding.

The Upside of a Crush—Even If You’re in a Committed Relationship | Goop

They can help us re-connect with a part of ourselves that we have been neglecting or actively suppressing. They can awaken our libidinal selves or otherwise add excitement, and provide inner space for autonomy in highly relational, structured lives. The more we try to move away from the unacknowledged part, the more deliciously alluring it becomes—like a freshly baked cookie placed before a child forbidden to eat sweets.

The passion and obsession felt for the object of the crush is really a longing for that part of ourselves. What parts of you come alive, as if from a coma?

my crush is in a long term relationship

What characteristics or behaviors of that person knock you off your feet? How are those things like you or unlike you? The feelings of emotional arousal a crush evokes strike us like lightning, awakening us to repressed memories and longings—indeed, to our very life force. One way to address this is by talking about it with someone you trust and who will keep it to themselves.

my crush is in a long term relationship

This could be a friend or family member. How, when and where you have this conversation is as important as what you say — you may find it very useful to read our article on communication tips to try with your partner.


This will help you think about ways to broach difficult topics without things turning into a row and how you could communicate effectively and clearly. What you need to talk about will depend on your situation, but you might like to think about the following: Do we spend as much time together as we used to, and if not, why not?

Do we make time to have fun together or just relax together? Have we been taking each other for granted?

my crush is in a long term relationship

Moving on from the crush — practical steps We develop crushes on all kinds of people.