Mind the gap – does age difference in relationships matter?
11 Differences Between Being In A Relationship At 18, 25, And We get better with age right? Posted on October 9, , at a.m.. Conz Preti. BuzzFeed. OVER THE LAST week or so, the topic of age gap relationships has been all over There's a massive difference in maturity even between a year-old and a year-old, as well as A decade but only if everyone's over With an age gap of 25 years, Macron, recently spoke out about the it found that couples with a five-year age gap are 18 per cent more likely to.
There were eyes raised at the beginning of our relationship; an expectation from people that I was "chosen" for youth and looks. But we've been together over 20 years now, and our age difference is now rarely mentioned. There have, however, been pros and cons to our situation. When I was young I tended to hang on his word — he is clever and has had a lot of life experience.
But as I matured, tensions sometimes set in. I developed my own opinions and became less willing to be lectured or talked down to. I also gave up education to parent our children: This is partly to do with insecurity; he has mentioned being worried that I will find a "younger model" to replace him with. One day, I'll have to think about health issues — in fact, I do wonder about how I would perform as his carer — but so far he's had amazing health.
But there are a lot of pros, too. There was never any issue about commitment. My husband had already lived a pretty full life — if men have biological clocks, his was definitely ticking. He is a very devoted and dependable father; his maturity really came into its own when he became a dad. We've worked very well as parents, planning and agreeing on courses of action, giving the children a strong framework.
The fact that he had a steady income and a house relieved much of the pressure young couples must feel when they become parents. Although it may not have been my wisest choice to settle down so young, I feel I've gained in having a partner who carries with him so much life experience and fullness of character.
I'm 34 and he has just turned 50 — a gaping chasm of 16 years.
What's the acceptable age difference in a relationship?
In the past I have generally dated men my age or younger, so this sudden leap into the world of "the older man" was a life change for me, and what a splendid one it has proved to be.
Our cultural references may be a bit different, but that's the only thing highlighting our age gap. We laugh at the same things and have similar hobbies, and yes, I find him very attractive indeed. He might not be able to do the splits as well as he used to allegedly or stay up very late week nights, but who gives a damn? I remember my dear old grandma saying on the morning of her 85th birthday that she still felt 21 inside, and I think this is something people forget when denouncing couples with an age gap.
We're all youngsters inside. Yes, that would be lovely thanks. I have one, and he's still able to play "it" with his grandsons at the age of We have been together for the last six years and have weathered the twilight years of my fertility together. While childrearing was discussed and rejected, it remains to be seen whether this is something he ultimately decides he cannot live without. I do think there is a big difference in how age-gap relationships are viewed depending on who is older, largely because of reproductive issues: If the woman is the older, it is either trivialised as a "cougar" fling, or viewed as a tragedy for the hapless younger man.
In our case, we each grappled extensively with the age difference in our own way in the beginning, but realised after a couple of years that what we really wanted was to be together. The key to age gap relationships is not to try to deny the difference, but not to get too hung up about it either.
We joke about it a lot, give each other space for our own age-cohort-related activities, and generally enjoy and respect each other as people, which is about as much as any of us have a right to ask from a relationship.
In some non-Western countries, the average age gap is much larger than in Western countries. So does age matter? And do couples with large age gaps experience poorer or better relationship outcomes compared to couples of similar ages? How many relationships have a big age gap? These generally involve older men partnered with younger women. The limited evidence on same-sex coupleshowever, suggests the prevalence rates are higher.
But what these trends tell us is that the majority of the population is likely to partner with someone of similar age.
This largely has to do with having social circles that generally include peers of similar ages and being attracted to others who are similar.
Similarity entails many things, including personality, interests and values, life goals and stage of life, and physical traits age being a marker of physical appearance.
Why doesn't age matter to some? Many of the reasons proposed for age-gap couples have been largely rooted in evolutionary explanations, and focus on explaining older man-younger woman pairings. From this perspective, it's thought men's preferences for younger women and women's preferences for older men relate to reproductive fitness. That is, the extent to which someone has "good genes" — indicated by their attractiveness and sense of energy also known as vitality — and the extent to which they are a "good investment" — indicated by their status and resources as well as their warmth and sense of trust.
Although men and women place importance on a partner who is warm and trustworthy, women place more importance on the status and resources of their male partner. This is largely because, with women being the child bearers, the investment is very high on their behalf time and effort in child bearing and rearing.
So they are attuned to looking for a partner who will also invest resources into a relationship and family. But because the building of resources takes time, we tend to acquire resources later in life and so are older by the time we have acquired enough wealth and resources to comfortably provide for others. So, women's attunement to status and resources might explain why some women may be attracted to older men.
Our celebration of the 20 Years of the Jedi Council is over!
In contrast, there's evidence to suggest men value attractiveness and vitality more than women because, from an evolutionary standpoint, youth is seen as an indicator of fertility. Given men cannot bear children, evolution suggests they're attuned to younger women to enhance the chances of partnering with someone who can provide children.
But the evolutionary explanation is limited in that it doesn't explain why the reverse occurs an older woman-younger man pairingor why age gaps exist within same-sex couples.The Surprising Truth About Age Gaps In Relationships - The Right Swipe
For this, socio-cultural explanations might provide insights. With more women working, in higher positions and being paid more, they no longer have such a reliance on men for resources. So fewer women will prioritise resources when looking for a mate.